


Minefield

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Slash, Violence, Virgin Blair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair gets into Jim's personal life and Jim doesn't like it one bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minefield

Minefield -   
Patt

 

Jim was watching the game alone, again, relaxing after a hard day. Since Blair had begun to date Maggie, he rarely had any time with his Guide. He missed him, but he was glad that Blair was happy. 

The front door opened with a bang and Blair shouted, "Guess what?" 

"You won the lottery?" 

"No, guess again." 

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?" Jim began to snicker. 

"You're not very good at guessing games, are you? Okay, I'll tell you. Guess who's getting married in a month?" 

"Who?" Jim honestly wanted to know. 

"You doofus. Me. I asked Maggie to marry me tonight." Blair bounced in his seat and waited for Jim to say something. 

"Congratulations, Chief. No one deserves it more." Jim got up and rinsed his beer bottle out and headed upstairs for bed. 

"That's it? That's all you're going to say?" 

"She seems really nice and I'm sure you'll be very happy. Is that better?" 

"All right, what's wrong?" Blair followed him up the stairs. 

"I won't have my Guide anymore. I'm just being selfish and jealous. Sorry. She's really nice and you'll make a great couple. When's the big day and how soon do you have to move out?" Jim hoped that would convince him. 

"Thanks, man. We're getting married on June 15th. I told her that I'd move in to her place this weekend." 

"Why not wait and get a larger place?" Jim asked. 

"I don't know that we can afford anything larger, Jim." 

"One of the loft's here is up for sale. Are you interested? Because if you are, I'll give it to you as a wedding present." 

"I don't know how Maggie would like us to live that close to you. She's real jealous of you. I don't know why. Yeah right. And besides you don't need to spend that much on our wedding present." 

"Okay, well whatever you decide is fine by me. I wish you all the best in the world, Chief." 

"Thank you, man." Blair hugged Jim quickly and rushed down the stairs. Jim knew Blair was overwhelmed with emotions. Guys really didn't like to cry in front of each other. 

The next evening, Blair came into the loft and said, "Jim, if I asked you to do something, would you do it?" 

"As long as it's legal." The smile on his face was enough to light up a room. 

"Maggie's sister is coming tonight to dinner. Maggie told her that you would come as her date." 

"Excuse me? I don't think so. Sorry, Chief. Tell her to find her own men for her sister." 

Jim stormed out of the loft, leaving a confused Blair behind. He looked around and saw all of Jim's stuff sitting on the table. He sat down and started to open the box. Whoa... Naked and semi-naked men? Jim likes naked guys? Oh please. This must be a joke. 

Blair hurried and looked through the pictures and saw they were dated and had names on the back. Some of these guys were gorgeous. Who was he kidding? They were all gorgeous. Blair was so freaked out, he couldn't think. Blair heard a noise out in the hall, so he put most of the pictures in the box and covered it back up again. The others, he took and put in his room so he could think. 

He locked his door and lay on his bed to read what each one said. The first picture was a beautiful young man named Ryan and he lived in Cascade. His phone number was on it and Blair couldn't help it. He had to check it out. 

"Baskins." 

"Robbins." Blair laughed. 

"Very funny, like I never hear that one. Who is this?" 

"I'm looking for someone named Ryan." 

"That's me." 

"Do you know someone named Jim Ellison?" 

"Oh god. Did something happen to him? Please tell me he's all right." 

"He's Jim dandy. I wondered if I could meet with you tomorrow for lunch, your choice." 

"Sure. And this has to do with Jim?" 

"Yes it does." Blair knew that was a lie. It had to do with him. 

"You're the new man in his life and you found the picture. Right?" 

"Sort of." 

"Okay, how about noon at Yanni's?" 

"Whoa, I love Yanni's. I'll be there. My name is Blair Sandburg, by the way." 

"Well, it'll be nice to see who Jimmy settled for. Oh, I meant, who he finally fell in love with. He just couldn't seem to do it, years ago." Ryan explained. 

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Bye, Blair." And Ryan hung up the phone. 

Blair looked around his room, paced for a short time and realized he was walking through a minefield. What was he doing? Better yet, why? None of this was his business and if Jim found out, he would kick his ass. 

It's amazing how a person hides things even from themselves. Blair had feelings for Jim, but never felt he could offer him anything. And now he was engaged to get married, and making dates with Jim's old boyfriend. _What a tangled web you weave._

The following day, Jim walked up and asked Blair, "Wanna have lunch?" 

"Nope... I have a date." 

"Tell her I said, hey." Jim tried to look like he meant it and Blair loved him for it. 

"If I'm late, will you cover for me?" 

"You got it, Chief. Be good." Jim laughed all the way to the break room. 

Blair followed him and said, "Would you ask Connor out today? Not for a date. I just don't want you eating vending machine food. Take her to Golden Dragon. She loves it there." 

"Fine. Get going, or your girlfriend will be pissed." 

Blair still didn't say a word about it not being Maggie. 

@@@@@

At Yanni's, Blair had the upper hand, because he had seen a picture of him. "Hi, Ryan, my name is Blair Sandburg." 

"Hey, Blair. Good to meet you. He loves guys with blue eyes, doesn't he?" Ryan snickered all the way back to the table. 

They had some nice small talk as they ordered their lunch and once it came, Ryan brought out the big guns. 

"So... You're worried about why he kept the picture?" 

"Sort of, I guess." 

"He's one of the best lovers I've ever had, but he couldn't commit. He said he didn't love me. But he did. He just didn't know it. He loved me every chance he got." Again, the man laughed. 

Blair joined in, but didn't feel like it. "So what was your favorite thing about Jim?" 

"That's easy. He loved to go to the beach. He would surf, while I lay on the beach and watched him. He loved to perform for me. Have you ever seen him surf?" 

"No... But I'll take you at your word and ask him to take me there. Thanks for the advice." 

"You are sleeping together, right?" 

"Not yet. We're going slow and trying to think with our large heads." Blair smiled at Ryan. 

"Oh man, I know why he picked you. You're going to make him fall in love every single day. It's too bad you haven't slept with him, I was going to tell you about what a fine dick he has." 

"You could tell me." 

"You want a preview?" Ryan smiled this time. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I have pictures. I loved him so much and his body was so gorgeous. So I saved the pictures and carry them in my wallet. Would you like to see them?" 

Blair was torn. He knew he shouldn't. It wouldn't be right, but on the other hand, he wanted to see that dick bad. "Yeah, I'd like to see them." 

Ryan pulled his wallet out and pulled out six pictures that he had coated with plastic, so they would stay perfect. 

Blair looked at the first one and almost drooled. Jim was naked, bending over and you could see his ass was shaved and very nice. The next picture was Jim's cock. Ryan was right; it was beautiful. Perfect. He thumbed through the rest of them and had to keep reminding himself to breathe. 

"He's gorgeous, Ryan. His inner beauty is what attracted me to him, but now I might have to change that." Both men began to laugh and talk. 

"Blair, do you want to keep the pictures of Jim? You seem to really love him. I need to let go." 

Blair leaned closer to Ryan and kissed him softly. "Thank you so much. They mean the world to me." 

"He doesn't know how you feel does he?" Ryan said with a great deal of understanding. 

"No, he hasn't a clue." 

"Just be careful, Blair. He's not a keeper. Even if you want to keep him." Ryan looked suddenly sad. 

"Thank you for the information. I'll think long and hard. I'll also treat for this wonderful meal. I'd like to be friends if that's possible." Blair, the peacemaker, was back. 

@@@@@

When Blair got back to the Bullpen, he sat at his desk and could tell Jim was dying to know where he had been. 

"Maggie called." 

"Really? What's new with her?" 

"She wanted to know where you were. I told her you went out with some old friends because I didn't have a fucking clue." Jim was pissed. 

"Jim, it's none of your business, so go fuck yourself." Blair stormed off and Jim growled loud enough for the entire Bullpen to hear. 

Connor walked by and said, "Loved the growl. Does it work with him?" 

"Fuck, no." Jim snarled. 

Everyone in the room laughed. 

At the loft that evening, Blair made a nice meal and tried to make it up to his partner. "Hungry?" 

"Starving. I don't know why. I went with Connor for lunch. What are we having?" 

"I made stew and baking powder biscuits. Warm, hearty and sticks to your bones." Blair smiled as he put everything on the table. 

They talked about anything and everything and Jim felt like they were back where they should be. "I'll cook tomorrow, Chief." 

"I've got a date." 

"You're going to make it up to Maggie?" 

"No..." 

"You're going out with someone else. You just got engaged. What's up with you?" 

"I'm breaking up with her tonight. She didn't like you as much as I wanted her to." 

"Chief, please don't break up with her because of me." 

"Well, I better go make my phone call before it gets too late." Blair stood up and headed for his room. 

"SANDBURG!!!!! Have you lost your mind? You don't break up with someone over the phone. Go and see her." 

"Pushy tonight, aren't you?" Blair smiled as he walked out the door. 

"I see you left all of the mess for me." Jim said to no one, and cracked himself up. What was Blair thinking? First he comes home and says he's getting engaged. Then he comes home and says he's breaking up with her. He's going to lose her if he doesn't watch out. 

@@@@@

Jim was sitting and watching the news when the phone rang. "Ellison." 

"Jim, it's Maggie. Blair broke up with me. He said I didn't love you enough. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please talk to him. I'll be the best friend to you in the world." 

"Maggie, I'll talk to him, but I can't make any promises." 

"Thank you, Jim. You're an angel." 

"Don't push things too far." Jim teased. 

Maggie laughed softly and said, "Can we go for dinner tomorrow night." 

"And talk about Blair, right?" 

"Yes..." 

"Sure... Where would you like to go?" Jim was unsure of this idea. 

"How about Yanni's? It's great." 

"Okay, I'll pick you up at 7:00. See you tomorrow." Jim went back to watching the news and heard Blair coming up the stairs. 

"Damn elevator's out again." 

"Yeah, I heard you huffing and puffing." Jim smiled over at his friend. 

"Well, I broke up with her and its finished." 

"Good. I think." Jim said. 

"Night, Jim." 

"Night, Chief." 

Both men got ready and were in bed in 20 minutes. Blair lay in his bed thinking. 

Sandburg, that was good thinking making two phone calls while you were out. Lunch tomorrow and dinner tomorrow night. Thank god it's not Yanni's. Ben wanted to eat healthfood for lunch and Marcus wanted a steak house. Blair was interested in both of these men because they were so different. Ben had a wonderful ass and Marcus had the most gorgeous face Blair had ever seen on a male. Tomorrow was going to be good. 

When Blair left for lunch, alone again, Jim was getting his feelings hurt. So, he went out with the gang and they all ate Subway subs. 

When Blair walked into the All For You, he recognized Ben's butt standing at the counter. 

"Hi, Ben. I'm Blair Sandburg." The two men shook hands, got their orders and found a booth to sit in. 

"So what made you call me?" 

"I found your picture and number in Jim's box." 

"Shit... I'm sorry. That was a very long time ago. He only fucked me once." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, he acted like he was always waiting for something better. I was so wild about him, but he couldn't have cared less about me." Ben looked miserable. 

"I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you. I guess this is kind of weird, but I wanted to talk to all of the men in his life and see how they felt about him." Blair tried to make it sound like he meant it. You do fucking mean it, you moron. 

"I think you'll find out from everyone that they loved him, but he never loved anyone back. He's cold. He just can't commit." 

"So it was just that once?" 

"Yup. And boy, does he do it well. I've never found anyone that could make me come as many times as he did that night." 

"I thought you said it was once." 

"One night, five times. He's an animal." Ben smiled for the first time that day. 

"Well, that's good to hear... I think. I have to get back to work, Ben. Take care." Blair shook his hand and Ben said, "Try not to fall in love with the lug. He's so sweet, but can't love you back." 

"Okay, I'll do that." 

@@@@@

Jim smiled at his partner when he walked past his desk. "Good lunch?" 

"Oh it was fucking great." Blair snarled as he began to catch up with paperwork. 

Jim decided to let it lie. He had things on his own plate anyhow. What in the hell was he going to talk about tonight? Maggie wasn't his type. Hell, no woman was really his type. That was his problem. 

That evening, Blair was leaving to go out, when he saw Jim all dressed up. "Where are you going?" 

"I have a date, Chief. Sometimes people do ask me out." 

"So, it's Connor, eh?" 

"No... Get lost already." 

"Fine." Blair hurried out the door and drove to the Bunk House. It was one of the finest Steak Houses in town. As he looked around he saw Marcus. Boy, did that man get better looking with age. And he was dazzling to start with. Blair walked up to him and held out his hand. "I'm Blair Sandburg, Marcus." 

"It's good to meet you, Blair. I got a call from Ben today and he told me what we would be discussing. So, I'm prepared." 

"What was Jim like when you dated him? And how long were you together?" 

"I dated him for about a week. He's not much on commitment." 

They called Blair's name and the two men walked to the table. Once they placed their drink and food order, they got down to business. 

"Do you want to know if he was good in bed?" 

"I know it sounds bad, but yes." 

"He's fantastic. He fucks like a racehorse. I would still be with him if he had allowed it. He never fucked me less the four times a night. I miss him so much. But when he was done with me, he moved on. I hope you're not counting on him to stick with you. He won't." 

"He might." 

"We all said that, but he won't." 

Dinner came and they ate and enjoyed small talk. Blair found out that Jim dated the same type of men he would date. 

"Anything else you want to ask me about Jim?" 

"Well, now that you mention it, how do you know how well a racehorse fucks?" 

Marcus burst out laughing and said, "I like you, Blair. Ben told me I would. Who are you seeing next? Anyone we know?" 

"Do you think you'll know them?" 

"Chances are we probably do. It's the Broken Heart Ellison Club. Or Bhec. Sounds like a fur ball being coughed up, doesn't it?" He smiled, but Blair could see that Jim had hurt him. 

"I called someone named David, Chris and Clay today. And I'm meeting with them tomorrow. I'll take David to Breakfast. I'll take Chris to lunch and Clay to dinner. Do you know them?" 

"Yeah, I'll call all of them tonight and tell them you're okay. David was so in love with Jim that he let all of his friends go by. It was sad. Jim didn't love him and he almost killed himself." 

"Oh my god." Blair realized at that moment, he really was walking in a minefield. It was time to leave that place. "I'm going to call and cancel. I have no right doing any of this anyhow." 

"I can call them for you if you want." 

"Thank you, Marcus. I really like you." 

"Well, if it doesn't work out with Jim, want to give me a go?" 

Blair leaned across the table and kissed him. "I would gladly give it a go. Thank you for being so kind to me." 

@@@@@

Jim sat at Yanni's with Maggie and listened to her talk non-stop. She was nothing like Blair. He made sense and made him feel good when he talked. 

"So Jim, do you think you can talk him into this?" 

"I don't think so. Maggie, this is something between the two of you." 

"Oh fuck you. I knew I couldn't count on you. I knew you had a thing for him. So why would you try and help me get him back?" She was crying softly. 

A man walked up to the table and said, "Way to sweet talk the women, Ellison." 

Jim jumped and then smiled. Jumping up, he hugged Ryan so hard it surprised his old friend. "It's so good to see you, Ry." 

"Same here. When you finish making her cry, want to come to my place?" 

"I would love that. Thank you. Still live in the same place?" Jim asked quietly. 

"Yup. Hurry your butt over there." 

"Listen, Maggie, I have to go. I'll pay the tab before I leave." Jim tried to look sorry for her, but it wasn't working. 

"I knew you were a fag." 

"Well, someone had to be." Jim left her with an odd look on her face, trying to figure out what that meant. 

He didn't even get to knock on Ryan's front door when Ry pulled Jim in and began to attack him. Before long they were in Ryan's bedroom and Jim was getting ready to fuck him when he said, "So it didn't work out with Blair, eh?" 

Jim pulled away and said, "What?" 

"With Blair. Your roommate, wanna be boyfriend?" 

"How do you know Blair?" Jim was so confused. 

"Could you fuck me first and then we'll talk?" 

"No... Tell me where you met him and how." 

So Ryan told him how Blair had called him when he found the pictures and had been talking to Jim's old lovers. Jim got out of bed, dressed and left without saying a word to Ryan. 

Ryan lay in bed feeling sorry for himself and called Ben. "He's just like he used to be. Doesn't give a fuck about anyone. Would you come over?" 

"Sorry, I'm with Marcus now. We got to talking after the meeting with Blair and we found out we have a lot in common. So we're an item now." Ben was so excited. 

"Well, isn't that just perfect?" Ryan snarled. 

"You could call David." 

"Yeah, but he's to into himself." Ryan didn't realize that he was too and they were perfect for each other. 

"Or you could just lie in bed, all alone crying on your pillow. Night, Ryan." Ben hung up laughing. 

@@@@@

Jim knocked on Ben's door and when Ben opened it, Ben thought he had seen Jim in all stages. But he was wrong. Jim was heartbroken. 

"Well, fuck... You love that little shit, don't you?" Ben pulled him in and held him close. Marcus came out and said, "You're in love with Blair?" 

"It wouldn't matter. He invaded my privacy, my life, my men and made me feel so bad. I'm on the verge of crying. I don't fucking cry." Jim sounded so frustrated. 

"Jim, we all fucking cry, so get over that part. He's wonderful. He's so in love with you. Maybe he didn't do the right thing, but he still loves you." 

Marcus led him into the bedroom and said, "Come on. You can sleep with us tonight." 

And that's what they did. Jim slept all night long and felt pretty good in the morning. He called in sick and decided to stay away from the loft for a few days. He had many things to think about. 

Over at the loft, it was a different story. Blair hadn't slept at all. He knew he had wronged Jim and would have to leave. First he packed, then he called Simon and told him he needed some time off and then he sat down to write the letter to Jim. 

_Dearest Jim,_

_I've been with you for the last five years  
and they've been the best five years of my life.  
But what I didn't understand about us, is that  
we were in love. I think you loved me anyhow.  
I know that I loved you. When I asked Maggie to  
marry me, I was desperate. I didn't want to be  
alone any longer. That's when I found the box of  
the men's pictures on the coffee table. _

_I can't begin to apologize for what I did. First,  
I opened it and then I went through them. I didn't   
understand at first what I was feeling, but I had   
to know about these men. I just had to. Then as I   
met each one, I realized I was in love with you and   
that's why I wanted to know more. Why didn't I go   
to you? Why didn't I ask you the questions? I can't   
believe I talked to your old lovers and asked them   
very private and personal questions. I don't expect   
you to ever forgive me. _

 

 _I've thought about this for days, and felt that the  
entire situation was like walking through a minefield.   
I kept seeing your face and the faces of the ones you   
loved at one time. I walked into that minefield and   
it blew up in my face._

 

 _I'm going to call Simon and put in for a transfer.  
You'd be better off with Connor, than with myself.   
Again, I'm so sorry that I screwed with your life.   
I imagine that you must be so embarrassed about this   
and I don't blame you. No matter how much hurt I   
caused, know that I'm hurting more for you. Man, I   
can't believe I did this. I can't believe I fucked   
up your life._

 

 _You are the best friend I ever had and will ever have.  
I'll think of you often. And someday, maybe you'll be   
able to think of me without wanting to kill me._

 

 _Jim, I'm going to miss you so much, but this is for  
the best. Have a great life, if you can. I won't   
see you again. Thank you for being my friend and my   
partner. I'm sorry I ruined both._

 

_Yours truly,  
Blair_

@@@@@

Simon answered his phone, "Banks." 

"Simon, could you transfer me to Station 9?" 

"Sandburg?" 

"Yeah, something has come up and I can't be around Jim anymore." 

"Did he hurt you, kid?" Simon asked gently. 

This made Blair start to sniff. "No, I hurt him. Simon, please do this for me." 

"Okay, I'll do it. When do you want to start?" 

"Four weeks. I'm going to stay at Connor's house, hopefully. If she doesn't kick my ass out." 

"Sandburg, he'll be able to smell you on Connor. You can't hide with anyone from work." Simon advised. 

"I don't have anyone else." Blair sounded so pitiful that Simon wanted to cry. 

Sighing Simon said, "How about with Daryl?" 

"He has his own place?" 

"Yes, he has an apartment. But I bet he'll let you sleep on the sofa." 

"Can I have the address and phone number?" Blair pleaded. 

Simon gave him what he needed and hung up his phone. This was going to be a bad one. 

@@@@@

Ben sat on the sofa with Jim and said, "He loves you, you do know that, right?" 

"He's got a fucking lousy way to show it." Jim growled. 

Marcus smacked Jim on the top of the head and said, "Don't growl at Ben." 

"Sorry, Ben." Jim whispered. 

"Why don't you go home and talk to him?" Ben asked. 

"I don't know what to say. It's embarrassing." Jim stood up and began to pace. 

"Okay, do you want to stay here and fuck us?" Marcus asked smiling. 

"No. I'll go home. Thanks for a good night's sleep, guys." 

Marcus said, "He wanted to know how you were with men. I would guess that he's scared. This is probably his first time, Jimmy. Be good to him when you catch up with him." 

"I'll try, Marcus. But I have a lot of thinking to do." 

"Jim?" Ben asked, "Do you love him?" 

"I think so." 

"You either do or don't, Jim." Marcus corrected. 

"Yes, I do." 

"Why are you so afraid of loving someone? Both of us would have given anything to have you love us? Who ruined you?" Ben wondered aloud. 

"No one ruined me. I ruined myself. Thanks for everything, guys. Let's get together soon and have dinner." Jim smiled for the first time that day. 

"You got it." Marcus said as he opened the door. 

They walked him to his truck and saw him off. "I wonder how long it will be before he calls us?" Ben asked laughing. 

"He's probably calling us now. We better get in to answer the phone." Both men kissed all the way up the stairs. It was nice to be in love. 

@@@@@

Jim walked into the loft and could feel that something was off. He walked into Blair's room and everything was gone. Jim's heart was pounding so hard, it hurt. He looked for anything that belonged to Blair and didn't find one thing. Then he saw the letter. 

Jim opened it and began to read. At one point, he had to stop because he truly believed that he was having a heart attack. Once he finished the letter he set it down and went in to take a shower. 

Simon was surprised when Jim showed up at noon. "I thought you were sick?" 

"I got over it. You can't go through life being sick all the time. Right?" 

"Right. Okay, well here is the new call we just got. You and Connor are on it." 

"Simon, I need to know where Sandburg is. It's important." 

"I have no idea. He doesn't start his new job for four weeks. He said he needed time to think." Simon glared at Jim. 

"Why are you being mean to me? I didn't do a fucking thing." Jim was on the verge of breaking down and Simon grabbed him and they went into his office. 

"I'm sorry. I figured you did something dumb to upset him." 

"I didn't do anything." Simon noticed that Jim's hands were now shaking. 

"Jim, why are you so upset about this? If you didn't do anything, why did he move?" Simon asked. 

"He hurt me, Simon." 

"Do you want to elaborate on that?" 

"Not really. It's sort of personal." Jim was tiring of this game. 

"Well, maybe you'll see him in four weeks." 

"If you talk to him, could you ask him to call me?" Jim pleaded. 

"Sure. Now go to work. It'll make the time go faster." Simon opened the door and shoved Jim out. 

@@@@@

Each day that Jim and Blair were separated, they both got sadder. Jim hadn't forgiven Blair, but he loved him dearly. He needed to talk to him. Why wasn't he calling him in the evening? 

One night, two weeks later, while watching a game on the television, Jim heard a soft knock and when he opened it he pulled Daryl into a huge hug. "Daryl, what's going on?" 

"Hey, man. How are you doing?" 

"He's with you, isn't he?" Jim stood back and watched Daryl's face. 

"How do you know that?" 

"I can smell his scent on your clothing. If I write to him, will you give it to him for me?" Jim hoped for a yes answer. 

"Sure. I'll watch the game and you write." 

"Daryl, why are you here?" 

"Because I'm really concerned about Blair. He hardly ever eats or sleeps. He's nervous and looks on the verge of tears all the time. He loves you so much. He said he did something that could never be forgiven. Is this true?" 

"I don't know, Daryl. It's a difficult situation, but I'm trying to work through it." 

"Write your letter, Jim. I'll be right over here." 

Jim sat at the table and began to write his plea. 

_Blair,_

_I'm very angry with you for going behind my back  
and talking to people that I slept with years ago.   
I'm angry that you went through my things. I'm   
angry that you asked my former lovers if I was a   
good lover. There are just so many things I'm   
pissed about. But the thing that makes my heart   
hurt is that you didn't stay to discuss it with me.  
I needed to talk to you and you weren't there._

 

_I met up with Ryan the night you left. I almost slept  
with him, but he mentioned you, and I stopped. I'm   
so glad. I'm really tired of one-night stands. I can't   
seem to love anyone but you. I've never felt love for   
any other. I loved fucking them, but I couldn't commit.   
So I came home to discuss committing to you and you were   
gone. Okay, I was going to yell for a while first, but  
I did want to commit._

 

_I miss you. I'm angry, but I'm more in love than pissed.  
Please come home and we'll discuss all of this._

 

_I love you._

_I want you._

_I need you._

_Please come back to me._

_Love,  
Jim _

When Daryl arrived home that night, he handed over the letter from Jim. Blair looked up at him with tears in his eyes and began to read it. 

When he was done, he sat down and watched the end of the game. 

"Blair, what are you doing? Doesn't he want you back?" 

"Daryl, he's never going to forgive me. So it's best that we stay apart. Thank you for thinking of me." 

@@@@@

Three days later, Jim had still not heard a word from Blair, so he called Daryl on his cell phone." 

"Banks." 

"Hi, Daryl. Could you tell me if you gave that letter to Blair?" 

"I did and he said you were never going to forgive him, so it's best to make a clean break." 

"Okay. Just checking in. Thanks for giving it to him." 

Jim hung up his cell and wanted to scream. From across the room, Connor saw the look of torment on Jim's face and knew she had to do something. This man was breaking in two and it wasn't going to be pretty. 

"Jimbo, would you like to go to dinner tonight?" 

"Sure. What time?" 

"Boy, are you easy. How about 7:00. We can either get steak, Chinese or a Subway sandwich. Your choice." Connor smiled at him and he was a goner. Jim needed someone to be his friend right now. 

Jim was down in records, so Megan called Daryl's house. 

"Hello?" Blair said cautiously. 

"Hi, Sandy. I wanted to let you know how sorry I was that you and Jim didn't work out. He looks pretty lonely, so I'm taking him for dinner tonight. Maybe we'll both get lucky." 

"Connor, you stay away from him." 

"Why? You don't want him. I guess he doesn't want you and I'm horny. Talk to you later." Connor hung up with a huge smile on her face. 

Blair ran his hands over his tired face and realized he was way too old for this shit. Games were for the very young, and Blair was no longer in that group. If Connor wanted to sleep with him, then that's how it had to be. 

@@@@@

Jim was enjoying the steak dinner, when Connor said, "Jim, I know this is out of the blue, but can I spend the night?" 

"In Blair's room?" Jim asked, with a confused look on his face. 

"No... With you." 

"Connor, I don't think that would be a good idea." Jim refused to look her in the eyes when he turned her down. 

"Jim, I want you so bad." Connor whispered. 

"Connor, please don't do this to me. I can't handle it right now." 

"How about if I give you a month?" 

"A month might be good. I'll think on it. Thank you for asking. It made me feel good." Jim smiled at her. 

"How good? And where did it make you feel good?" Connor teased. 

"See, this is why I can't do this." 

"Jimbo, stop worrying. I was teasing." 

"Meggie, you stop worrying." Jim snickered when he saw the look on her face. 

They continued to talk about themselves, work and one month from now. Jim went home and had the first good night's sleep he'd had in ages. Things would work out. He would always miss Blair, but he had to move on. 

@@@@@

Three weeks later, Jim and Connor had to go check out a murder scene. Simon had not told Jim that Blair would be there. But there he was, bold as can be. 

"Sandburg." Jim said softly. 

Blair jumped and almost fell. "Ellison. What are you doing here?" 

"I work here." 

"This isn't the 12th's area. This is ours." Blair went back to what he was doing. 

"Your Captain called us in." Megan said, smiling. 

"He's such an asshole. I told him to give me a few days. Fuck..." Blair was pissed. "Go ahead and solve the case. I don't care." 

"Sandburg, I'm here to help you, not replace you." 

"Sandy, grow up." Connor growled. 

"Connor, shut up." Blair snapped and went back to collecting evidence and putting them in plastic baggies. 

Jim was watching Blair and didn't even notice it. "I thought you were going to give me a chance." Connor whispered. 

"Not now, Connor." 

"Why?" 

"Because." Jim walked over and asked Blair questions and wrote down his answers. 

Connor knew that she was going to lose Jim. She decided right then and there, she was putting up a fight. He might be her Mr. Right. Oh who was she kidding, she would settle for Mr. Right Now. 

@@@@@

About six hours later, Blair and Jim had figured out who it probably was. But they had to wait for the evidence to get filed and tested. 

"Thanks, Jim. I needed help on it. I should have called you." Blair stood looking at the ground. 

"It's okay. We're not back to being friends yet, so that's what's off. I want to be friends, Blair." 

"Okay. Would you like to go see the Jags on Saturday? I have great tickets." 

"Chief, wild horses couldn't keep me away. Thank you." 

"That's Undomesticated Equine, buster." Blair smiled for the first time. "Can I pick you up?" 

"I'll be waiting with bells on." Jim said as he turned to leave. 

"Take the bells off, man. Everyone will know you're a fairy nice guy." Blair almost ran to his car. He knew Jim would want to smack him. 

@@@@@

On the drive home, both men felt good about the small talk they had. Blair was so looking forward to seeing him on Saturday and Jim kept asking Connor, "What day is this?" 

That night Connor came up to the loft to watch a movie and intended on making some moves on Jim. Blair had his chance and he blew it. It was her chance now. She was thinking that it was funny how some people think they need to have more of a life than others. 

As they watched the movie, she moved closer and closer and began to kiss him. As they kissed, she ran her hand softly over his cock and felt it thicken quickly. "Connor, I need to stop. I'm going to see Blair on Saturday." 

"Jim, didn't you promise me this?" 

Jim looked at her and said, "I didn't know he was going to ask me out. I'm sorry." 

"I can't believe this. You're just going to toss me aside. I love you, Jim Ellison." 

"I'm sorry. I need you to leave." Jim stood up quickly and went to open the door. 

"Can I still be your partner?" 

"Of course. Megan, I'm in love with Blair. I've always been in love with him. I'm sorry, if I led you on." Jim hugged her quickly and then stepped back. 

"I'll see you in the morning, Jim. Thanks." Connor still hadn't looked at him. 

"Connor." 

"What?" 

"Come here." Connor walked over to him and stood in front of him. "Look at me." 

She looked up and saw a fantastic friend and great partner making her smile. 

"I love you, Connor. You're a great friend and partner. Don't ever change." Connor got another hug from Jim before she left. 

As she drove home she smiled and said to her reflection in the mirror. "I think he bought it, Ms. Connor. Jim isn't going to know what hit him." Connor had been the one that sent the tickets to Blair, just in case. She was good. Don't forget to call Simon when you get home. 

@@@@@

Blair's cell went off and he answered, "Sandburg." 

"Hey, Blair. This is Ryan. How would you like to come over? I'm making a nice dinner and I rented a movie. I was hoping for some good company. I don't have that many friends." 

"That sounds good. When?" 

"Now. Just come as you are." Ryan smiled as he gave Blair his address and got the rest of the dinner on the stove. 

When he heard the knock, he opened it and said, "Hey, Blair, come on in." 

"Hi, Ryan." Blair smiled. 

Ryan leaned down and kissed him. 

Blair moved back and said, "Oh man, I thought you meant as a friend. I'm sorry. I'm going to get back with Jim." 

Ryan was 6'4" and weighed about 250 at least, and he shoved Blair into his bedroom and threw him on the bed. 

"No way, Ryan. You are not doing this. Stop right now." Blair was fighting like mad. 

"You had him and you tossed him aside like trash. I asked him out and he told me he was in love with you. You have to have everything, don't you? Now I ask you out and you say you're going back with him. I don't think so. I'm going to get me a piece of this ass." 

He began to unzip Blair's jeans as Blair fought like mad. Blair realized that Ryan was too fucking strong. He just didn't know what to do. Ryan was very upset that he wasn't doing anything for him, sexually. Blair's cock was flaccid and didn't show any sign of life. 

Ryan flipped him over and started spanking Blair's ass really hard. Then it escalated to punching. Blair was trying so hard to stay strong, but this guy was fucking hurting him. He noticed a very heavy ashtray on the nightstand, so he picked it up and hit Ryan across the head with hit. Ryan was out like a light. 

Blair hurriedly got dressed, called the cops and then put cuffs on Ryan. Then he called Rafe, told him where he was and asked him to come pick him up. 

When Rafe got there, the cops said, "He said he was waiting for you to get here before we took the pictures." 

"I'll take the fucking pictures." Rafe grabbed the camera and walked into the room they had chosen to do it in. 

"Blair, deep breaths, tell me what happened and then we'll take the pictures." 

Blair proceeded to tell Rafe and two other officers everything that happened. Then he had to take his jeans and boxers off for pictures. He was bruised in the front and the back. Rafe took all the pictures they would need and then Blair was told to dress. 

When they left Rafe drove about six blocks away and pulled over and parked. He opened up his arms and Blair went into them willingly. "I'm sorry this happened to you. You're too nice. You trust everyone. You have to be more careful." 

"I'll try, Bri." 

"Should we call Jim now?" 

"Don't tell Jim, ever." Blair pleaded. 

"Sandburg, he needs you and you need him. What is the fucking problem?" 

"That guy used to be one of Jim's lovers. The only reason he did this to me is because he thought I was taking Jim away from him again. I don't want Jim to ever know. It's all my fault." Blair stayed in Rafe's arms for about an hour and he finally said, "Can I go home? I'm tired." 

Rafe was so torn. He wanted to tell Jim, but he also wanted Blair to know he could trust him. So he just took Blair to his apartment and then he went home to think on all of this. 

@@@@@

Saturday, Jim was so excited; he could hardly stand it. He paced in front of the window and watched for his love. Finally after about two hours of watching he realized that Blair wasn't coming. Jim didn't think his heart could break any more. He was wrong. 

@@@@@

Sunday, Jim didn't even bother getting out of bed. He didn't answer the telephone all day long and planned on just sleeping through until Monday. 

_I can't believe he fucked me over._

@@@@@

Monday morning Connor said, "Come on, hot shot, we've got a body." 

"Oh goody." Jim followed her downstairs. She drove and Jim let her. This was Connor's first indication that there was a major problem in major crime. 

"All right. I can't wait anymore. How did Saturday go?" 

"It didn't. He stood me up." Jim said quietly, letting Connor hear the pain in his voice. 

"I can't believe it." 

"Well, I don't know what I expected. He fucked me over before, why did I think it would be different?" 

"He didn't, Jim. He was in love with you. He didn't know how to handle any of this. What if something happened to him?" Connor planted the seed of worry. 

"Have you heard anything?" Jim asked. 

"No, but he looked so happy and so excited. Why would he do that?" 

"I don't know." 

"Why didn't you call me, you wanker?" 

"Because I was right on that verge of crying all day long. Something about crying in front of your partner, ruins the tough guy image." 

Connor pulled over and said, "Do you need a hug?" 

"Yeah, but not now. Raincheck?" 

"Okay, let's find this dead body and figure out who killed him in ten minutes or less." She smiled over at her partner and saw him smile back. 

The day went very quickly for both of them. And then Jim teased her that night because they had figured out who the killer was in less than five hours. 

@@@@@

Rafe walked by and Jim smiled at him. He noticed Rafe seemed upset about something. 

"Connor, would you do me a favor?" 

"Anything, Jimbo." 

"Please stop calling me that." 

"Anything but that." She smiled as she waited for him to ask. 

"Would you go and ask Rafe if he's seen Blair and if he has, if he knows where he is now?" 

"Sure. I'll be right back." 

About an hour later, Jim was still typing and Rafe stood in front of his desk. "Jim, can I talk to you in private?" 

"Sure." Jim followed him into one of the interrogation rooms. 

"I have to tell you something, but you have to remain calm." 

"Oh fuck... Something happened to him? What? Is he all right?" Jim was frantic and ready to jump on top of Rafe if he didn't answer him soon. 

"Jim, I said you have to stay calm. If you can't, I won't tell you." 

Jim sat down at the table and softly said, "He was attacked?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh god, I don't believe it." 

"He called me and asked me not to tell you. Please don't go to him until he calls you." Rafe begged. 

"Rafe, I can't just sit here and wait. I can't." Jim looked at Rafe with pleading eyes and Rafe said, "I have a letter for you." 

"What?" 

"I told him I wouldn't be able to pull this off and he said to only use this letter if it was an emergency. Well, I think this is one. So here is the letter and I'll stay with you." 

Rafe handed the letter to Jim and he began to read it. 

_Jim,_

_I can't tell you how sorry I am. I started  
this entire thing. I told you it was a   
minefield. Well, it was. I stepped on all   
of the bodies you left behind and made it   
even worse. Because of me, now one of your   
friends will go to prison. For this I'm sorry.   
I never meant to hurt anyone. _

 

_I wanted to love you. I knew I did, but I  
wasn't sure how to go about it. I really   
thought I was doing the right thing... but   
I wasn't. I made some of your old lovers   
relive parts of their lives they didn't want   
to go over again. I did love you. I do love   
you. But I can't be part of a couple knowing   
I did this. I'm so fucking sorry. _

 

 _Friday night, Ryan called and asked me over  
for dinner and a movie. I'm such an idiot.   
I thought he needed a friend. Jim, he hit me   
so hard, I about died. He said that you hadn't   
loved him once and he thought you were back in   
his life and I took you away. He didn't rape   
me, he tried, but I got a hold of something   
heavy and hit him with it. I'm going to be out   
of commission for about two more weeks. Then I   
get to go back to work. I'm so sorry, Jim. I   
think you should go and see Ryan. They tell me   
he hasn't said one word since they brought him in.   
I never meant for this to happen. Please forgive me._

 

_We weren't meant to be. It's clear now. I'm sorry  
about that. I wanted to work with you again, so bad,   
but I can't now. I can't do a lot of things now.   
I'm so fucking sorry. _

 

_If you look for me, I have to leave Cascade. So  
please promise Rafe that you won't try. It's for the   
best. You will always be in my heart. _

 

 _Love,  
Blair_

Jim held tight to the letter and said, "I'll find him, Rafe. And then I'll kick his ass." 

As Jim stormed out of the room, Rafe tackled him. "You will not touch that man." 

"Get off of me, Rafe." 

"No." 

Jim let out a primal scream that brought Simon running. "What the fuck is going on? Rafe, get off of him." 

Rafe moved and Jim got up and started to run. Rafe tackled him again. 

"Rafe, is there something you need to tell me?" Simon growled. 

"I need Jim in Interrogation Room 1, and I'll explain. Right now, sir." 

Brown and Simon helped Jim up and had to literally drag Jim into the room. 

"Jesus Christ, Ellison. You're heavy. Knock it off. Now sit down and tell us what's going on." Simon ordered. 

Jim said nothing. All they heard was heavy breathing from him. 

Simon saw the letter that Jim was clutching and he grabbed it so fast that Jim wasn't prepared. Jim tried to get it away, but Rafe and Brown made him sit back down. 

Simon sat down and began to read. Every now and then he looked up at Jim with questioning eyes. When he finished he sat down. "Jim, what were you planning on doing?" 

"Finding him. I'll get his fucking address from his station house." 

"Jim, he asked you not to contact him. You have to listen to him." Simon said quietly. 

"I don't care what he said. He never listened to me, so I don't have to listen to him. I'm going to show him pain." Jim was losing control and they all knew it. 

"So what? You're going to go over to the abused person's house and abuse him some more? Will you punch him, slap him or will you go all out and rape him?" Simon asked. 

Jim burst like a dam and cried like a baby. Rafe and Brown had their arms around him trying to comfort him. They knew that Jim Ellison never would have hurt anyone he loved. 

Simon finally pulled him to his feet and into his arms. "Jim, would you have hurt Sandburg?" 

"God, no. I love him." 

"Then why did you say that?" Rafe asked. 

"Because he keeps hurting me. I'm so tired. I hardly sleep any more and I'm so fucking lonely." 

"Jim, sit down and write him a note and tell him how you feel. Then I will deliver it and we'll see how it goes." Rafe handed him a sheet of paper and a pen. 

Jim sat and began to write. 

_Chief,_

_I need you more than I've ever needed anyone  
in my life. Please come home. I can't sleep.   
I've lost weight. I miss you. I'm so lonely.   
You can fix all of this. You said that you   
caused everything and that's not true. When   
I met Ryan, I knew he had a short fuse. But I   
also knew what to do with him. I should have   
warned you after I knew about you seeing them.   
I don't care anymore about the pictures, the   
phone numbers and the meetings. I want you.   
I love you. _

 

 _Is there any chance of us being together? I  
hope so, because I want you like you wouldn't   
believe._

 

_You've never been with a man, Chief, and I know  
that you're scared. Don't be. I'm going to take   
such good care of you, you'll be glad you crossed   
over. If you agree to seeing me, I'd like you to   
move home tonight. And we'll make love when you're   
ready. Please come home. I need you. You make me   
Jim Ellison._

 

_The plants have been dying right and left. Could  
you come home for them too? Every time one is dead,   
I cry. I'm so sick of crying. Please don't let me   
cry alone._

 

_I almost forgot something. Could you come back to  
Major Crime? I need you so bad. At least think on   
it. All right. Will you call me when you get this   
letter?_

 

_I love you more than life itself.  
Jim_

 

He handed it to Rafe and his friend read it. "Good job, Ellison. I'll take it to him now." 

"Jim, I want you to stay in here. Okay?" Simon asked, but Jim knew it was an order. 

"Sure, can H keep me company?" 

"Sure. Take good care of him, H." Simon got up and leaned over and kissed the top of Jim's head. 

"Thank you, Simon." Jim was so moved by this, he began to get tears in his eyes. 

"Don't start again, Ellison. Simon will tell everyone you're a wuss." H teased. 

Both men laughed and they waited as patiently as they could. 

Rafe got to Blair's apartment and knocked. "Oh man, did you have to give it to him?" 

"Yeah. He knew something was wrong. Anyhow, he wants you to read this and then we go from there." Rafe pushed Blair onto the sofa and handed him the note. 

Blair began to read it and kept wiping tears from his face. "I can't do this, Rafe." 

"Yes, you can. He loves you so much." 

"That's the problem. I ruined it. It'll never be right again." 

"Fine, then call him. He's waiting. You tell him he has no chance at a normal life again. I give up." Rafe stood up and started to leave. 

"Will you stay with me?" 

"While you call him?" Rafe asked. 

"No, while I try and sleep. I'm so tired. I'm scared to close my eyes. They called and said that Ryan is out. I know he's coming for me." 

Rafe sat next to Blair and held him tight. "He'll have to come through me. Go to sleep." 

As soon as Blair fell to sleep, Rafe pulled his cell out and called Jim. 

"Ellison." 

Rafe thought he was past cute. He was scared to death. "Hi." 

"Oh god. He doesn't want me?" 

"Jim, calm down and come over here." Rafe gave him the address and closed his cell. 

Before long, he fell asleep along with Blair. There was a knock at the door and Blair shot off the couch. "Don't let him in." 

"Blair, calm down." 

Rafe went to the door and opened it and Jim was standing there. Blair flew into his arms and sobbed his heart out. 

"Chief, what's going on?" 

"They let him out. He's coming for me." 

"You have a gun. You're a good cop. You shoot him if I'm not around." Jim hugged him harder. 

"I can't, Jim. It's my fault." 

"It's not your fault. I should have told you I liked men. I should have shared that so that you wouldn't have had to ask strangers. I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

Rafe wiped his eyes and sighed. "I have to go to work. Someone better. Sandburg, are you coming back to work with us?" 

"I'm going to ask Simon." 

"He'll take you back in a heartbeat. See you guys later. Will you be here or the loft?" Rafe paused at the door. 

Jim shoved Blair to the floor and he yanked Rafe down and the shots went flying. 

"Ryan, damnit, get up here." Jim yelled. 

And the funniest thing happened, Ryan walked up to the steps. "I wouldn't ever hurt you, baby." He tried to pull Jim in for a kiss. 

"Ryan, I don't want you. I'm sorry, but it's the way it is. Things haven't changed. I used to like being with you. But I could never love you. The old Jim Ellison was unable to love anyone." 

Blair got up and went into the bedroom and came back out with his gun. "Get away from him." 

"Chief, I've got it under control." 

"He's got another gun, Jim." Ryan pulled it out and Blair shot him in the arm. 

"What is wrong with you, Ryan?" Jim yelled. 

Blair said quietly, "He loved you." 

"I've been loved by people but they don't shoot other people." 

Rafe had called for a backup and for the EMT's. Once everything was done, Rafe finally left. 

"Are you ready to come back to the loft?" 

"Yes. But you have to tell me if you really love me, or I'm another Ryan." 

"Blair, I adore you. I've never loved anyone before. So I'm not going to leave you or treat you like Ryan. I promise." 

@@@@@

 

After they filed the reports at the station, they drove in silence to the Loft. Blair was scared to death that both of them were making a mistake. Jim, on the other hand, was having good thoughts. 

"Chief, how about we sleep together, but no sex for two weeks." Jim suggested. 

"Really? I could live with that." A relieved Guide answered. 

Once they got home, they got ready for bed and just went upstairs together. Jim pulled Blair into his arms to help him feel safe and secure. Before long, they were both sound asleep. 

Morning brought a glorious sun and warmth filling the room. Or it could have been his Guide doing it to him. Jim curled into Blair a little more and hoped his erection wouldn't scare the younger man. He pulled Blair's soft hair up and began to kiss his neck. Jim could smell Blair's pheromones. "I thought we were going to wait for two weeks." 

"We are. This is a sampler." Jim continued to kiss his mate and began to suck on his earlobe. Blair pushed his body back against Jim's erection and moved until his body met Jim's in a steady rhythm. "Chief, don't do that, or we'll be sorry." 

"Why?" 

"Because I'm going to come any minute now. I don't want our first time to be like this. I just wanted you to feel how nice it was to wake up to kissing." 

"Jim, make me feel good all over." Blair turn onto his back and hoped Jim would suck him dry. 

"Are you sure, baby?" Jim asked. 

"Oh, I'm sure." 

Jim took Blair's magnificent cock into his mouth and wondered how it would ever fit. It was very large. He moved up and down on the member, making Blair moan in joy and need. Jim picked the speed up as he rubbed his hands softly over Blair's balls. Now the younger man was moving around making more noise. Jim slid a finger into his own mouth and slicked it up quickly. He sucked Blair harder and harder and slid his finger into his Guide's anus at just the right moment, rubbing his nub. Blair yelled "Jim" and came in his mouth. 

They both lay quietly on the bed and Jim said, "Was that all right?" 

"It was more than all right, Jim. It was wonderful. Thank you. Can I suck you?" 

Jim turned around and let Blair take his time with Jim's cock. As soon as the younger man got used to the smell, look and feel, he sucked him into his mouth and began to go to work. 

Jim noticed that Blair was hard once again, so he took him in his mouth once more and both of them were humming, groaning and moaning over the other man's cock. 

Jim pulled off for a moment and asked, "Would you like to play with my ass?" 

Blair answered, panting, "You know it." 

Jim got some lube and handed it to him. "If you want, you can find out what it feels like to slide your dick into me. Would you like that, Chief?" 

"Oh man, I almost came just thinking about it." 

Jim showed him how to get him ready and once Blair was done with that, he asked, "Jim, are you ready?" 

"Fuck me, baby. Fuck me." 

"I love when you call me baby." Blair slid in and couldn't believe how great it felt. Jim was making more noise than Blair ever expected. 

"Harder, Chief. I want to come now." 

Blair began to pound into Jim's ass and Jim howled with his completion. Blair followed close behind. 

"So do we get to wake up to this a lot?" Blair asked. 

"Any time you want me, I would be pleased to give it to you. But it's my turn to fuck you next." Jim kissed him quickly before he got up to clean them up. 

"You got it, big man. I love you." 

"I love you, Chief." 

They showered together and Jim wanted to fuck Blair, but then they would both be late for work. He promised him fun and yummy things for the evening.   
@@@@@

When they walked into the bullpen, everyone clapped making Jim blush. 

"What?" Jim asked. 

"Nothing, we're just happy to see you actually came to work." Simon teased. 

This is how most days went. No one asked them what was going on, but they all knew. What was most important was they didn't seem to care. They had wonderful friends. Both men were forever grateful for that. 

Time seemed to move quickly which angered Jim. He wanted it to stop or at least slow down. He loved fucking Blair and wanted to have more time to do it in. The first time, he actually took his Guide, he cried. The Guide had to help the Sentinel when it was done. Jim had never been so moved in his life.   
@@@@@

Three months after Blair moved back in and became Jim's partner again, they got a call for a dead body. 

"Hey, Chief, they just called and said they need someone for a dead body." 

"Yuck. I don't want to be a dead body. I know I don't want you to be." 

Connor burst out laughing and said, "You boys are just too cute for words." 

"I've got words. How about yuck, puke and gross?" Rafe asked laughing. 

Joel glared at him and said, "They are not gross. They are precious friends. Take it back." 

"Joel, he was joking. It's okay." Jim laughed. 

"Who wants to go try out for the dead body position?" Blair asked. 

"Pick me. Pick me. Pick me." Connor bounced with her hand flying around in the air. 

"Do that again, Connor. I liked watching that." Brown joked. 

Now everyone was laughing their asses off. When Jim and Blair left they had Connor with them. 

"Sandy, I hope they pick me for the body. I look very nice naked." 

"Connor, shut up. I don't want to think about my friends naked." Jim grumbled. 

"Speaking of naked, you should see how fantastic Jim looks." Blair said quietly. 

"CHIEF!!!" 

"What? You expect me to not tell anyone how great you look? I think not." Blair softly punched his mate's arm. 

"It's okay, Jim. I won't tell a soul. Well, except Rafe, Brown, Joel and Simon. They all asked for details." 

"See what you started, Chief?" 

"Oh tough. Get a grip, Ellison, or you'll be the dead body." Both Sandburg and Connor laughed until they pulled up to the site. 

They all put their gloves on and began to fill baggies with evidence and Jim more or less figured out what was going on. It was pretty cut and dried. 

Connor looked at Jim and said, "Ellison, you already know, don't you?" 

"Yeah. Connor, look in her vagina. She might have a vibrator in there. She was excited when she died. There's not that smell of fear, just sex. So I think she just had a heart attack. Probably a bad heart." Jim explained. 

Connor said, "I'll wait till Dan gets here and he can look for the vibrator." 

Blair almost started laughing. "So she wasn't murdered?" 

"Not that I can tell. But we'll see what Dan says." Jim answered. 

Connor and Blair were talking about how much they hated Jim for figuring it out so fast and Jim decided to go outside for air. 

He no sooner walked out the door, then his partners in crime followed close behind. He walked out to the street and took deep breaths and they saw a man come up to him and Jim smiled and hugged him. 

"Sandy, who is that?" 

"Fuck if I know." Blair said angrily. 

They watched Jim talking with this man, smiling and laughing the entire time. Blair was getting more pissed off by the minute. 

"Connor, I'm going out the back way." 

"You are not. March down there and introduce yourself to him. Find out who he is." 

Blair marched, (well she said to march,) down to the curb and stood quietly. Jim smiled over at him and said, "Chief, come here." 

Jim put his arm around Blair's waist and said, "Chief, this is my good friend, George. He lives two blocks down. He was out for his walk when he saw me. George, this is Blair Sandburg." 

George shook Blair's hand and said, "Good to meet you, Blair. Jim was just telling me he was in love. You are one lucky dude. Many of us tried and we all failed." 

"Thanks, I think." Blair wasn't sure how to take any of this. 

"George, would you like to come to dinner tonight?" Jim was so happy. 

Blair wanted to take his gun out and shoot the idiot. No, not George, Jim. 

"Chief, I told him how good your food was, so he needs to know I'm not lying." 

"Sure. Tonight is fine. What time?" Blair wasn't happy and George knew it. 

"You know, let me get back to you on it. I think I have plans." George shook hands with both men and walked away. 

"What the fuck was that about, Blair?" 

"What?" 

"You were fucking rude." 

"As were you. You ask someone's mate before you ask someone over for dinner. I don't know this man and I would have liked to been prepared. 

"He's super nice, Blair. And I thought you wanted to have some gay friends too. We talked about it." 

"Not ones you've slept with. This guy was warm for your form." Blair was pissed. 

"You're so full of shit. I can't believe you sometimes." 

"Whatever. Could we get back to work?" Blair turned and headed back to the house. 

Dan got there and sure enough, it was a vibrator and she did have a heart condition. 

"I don't understand why you would want to get off, if you knew you had a bad heart." Connor said more to herself than anyone. 

Dan snickered and got his things ready to go. "Good job, team. Talk to you in Major Crime." 

"Wait a minute, Dan. I came down to try out for the body. What do you think?" She did a little turn as Jim laughed very hard. 

"I think I need to take you out for dinner. What do you say?" Dan smiled. 

"When and where. I'm so there." 

"You spend way too much time with our man Sandburg." Dan laughed. He walked off with Connor discussing what they would do and where they would go. 

"Geeze, Connor's a slut. She's telling Dan he doesn't need to buy her dinner. She wants to spend the night. Talk to that woman." Jim said. 

"Stop listening to other people's conversations." Blair walked out the door and got into the truck. 

When Connor got there he let her sit in the middle, so when Jim got in, he was a little surprised to see her there. 

"What did I miss, guys?" 

"He's pissed at me because I was talking to someone I slept with once." 

"Blair, you've slept with tons of women, what's the difference?" She really did want to know. 

"Big difference, I'm not inviting them over to hang out with me and Jim. Right?" Blair asked her. 

"There is that. Jim, you should have talked to Blair first." 

"Sorry, Chief. I'll do better next time." Jim drove to the station and wasn't a happy camper at all. 

In the elevator Connor said, "So did you listen to me tell Dan I wanted to spend the night?" Megan laughed. 

"As a matter of fact, I did, and I got in trouble for that, too. So I'm sorry for listening." Jim said quietly. 

"Jim, I don't want to discuss any of this until later. I'm not in the mood." Blair got off the elevator and sat down at his desk. 

Jim turned to Connor and said, "I don't get this man at all. I'm fucking giving up big time." 

"Come over to my house tonight and you can sleep with me and Dan. Then we'll discuss it." 

Everyone in the bullpen looked when Jim Ellison burst out laughing. It was the loudest and hardest laugh anyone had heard come from him. 

"What am I missing out on?" Brown asked. 

"We were talking about you, H." Jim teased. 

"Was it good?" Brown asked. 

"You were very good." Jim touched his forehead to Henri's and Connor thought she had never seen anything so sweet. 

Blair walked by and snarled, "Did you want to get any paperwork done today?" 

"Oh... Oh... Trouble in paradise, eh?" H asked. 

"It was nice while it lasted. Three months is a lot longer than I've ever lasted." Jim went to his desk to do his work. 

For the rest of the day, Jim didn't say one word to Blair. He did know that he wasn't going to have to apologize every single time he met up with someone he slept with. So Blair was going to have to grow up, or leave. Sadness set in and Jim felt like crying his heart out. 

"Ellison... My office." Simon bellowed as he walked by. 

"Sir?" 

"Shut the door." 

Jim shut it and sat down. "What's up, Simon?" 

"You looked like you were going to break into tears at your desk. Jim, you can't do that. This is the Bullpen. You have to stay professional. Do you get that?" 

"Yes, sir. I get it. I lost it for a moment but I'm in control again." Jim stood to leave. 

"What's wrong, Jim?" 

"My past. It's caught up to me." 

"Everyone has a past, Jim. Doesn't Sandburg understand that?" 

"No." 

"I don't want to see this shit in the Bullpen. Now get back to work." 

"Yes, sir." Jim left feeling like he was ten and talked down by a teacher. 

Sighing, he sat down and started typing again. 

Blair walked over and whispered, "Is everything all right?" 

"Hunky Dorey." 

"Are you mad at me?" 

"Sandburg, we're at work. We'll discuss that stuff when we get home. Please leave me alone for right now." 

"I'll leave you alone forever. I'll get out of your life." Blair walked into the restroom and took some deep breaths. 

Jim followed his Guide in and said, "I'm sorry. Simon doesn't want me acting like a homo while I'm in the Bullpen. I was looking too upset for him." 

"Sorry, Jim. I didn't mean to cause all of this." 

"I think we need to set down some ground rules. That way we won't be caught off guard again. Does that sound good?" 

"Sounds great, big man. I'll make a nice dinner tonight and we'll talk. 

"Okay. I'm going to go finish my work. We're okay?" Jim asked nervously. 

"We're fine, but we're going to be better." 

Jim was almost done with all of his paperwork when the phone rang. He got off and growled. "Connor, heads up. They need a body." 

Everyone laughed and Jim went with Connor. Blair was in records, so when he got back, he was pissed to see Jim went without him. 

Rafe walked by and said, "Hey, Jim was in luck when they called for a body. Connor was still here." He chuckled as he walked away. 

Blair was done with his work, so he left for the evening. He made a nice dinner and waited to eat with Jim. At ten, he put everything away and slept in his old room. 

Jim got home and smelled the wonderful scents coming from the Loft. Then he saw they were all put away. Next he heard Blair's heartbeat coming from his old room. _What the fuck?_

Jim walked in and sat on the bed. He knew that Blair wasn't sleeping. "Chief, I'm sorry I'm late. It was a bad one. When they called, I had to leave right then. I'm sorry if I upset you, but it's my job." 

"It's my job too. I thought we were partners." 

"We are, Chief. We are. I'm going to eat something do you want to share?" 

"No." 

"Fine." Jim got up disgustedly and left the room. 

Jim didn't eat either. He went upstairs and called Connor. 

"Connor." 

"It's me. Are you busy?" 

"Yes, I'm busy. Dan is very busy. But if you don't mind me moaning into your ear, go ahead and talk." 

"I'm sorry. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Jim hung up quickly. 

He was just slipping off when the phone rang. He answered it quickly. "Ellison." 

"Connor." 

Jim smiled. "I'm so sorry. God, I'm fucking up everything. My friends lives, my life and Blair's life. I love him so much. But yet, I know we're not going to make it. And Simon told me to stop being such a wimp in the Bullpen. Do you think I am?" 

"Yes. I know why, but you have to toughen up. If you act tougher, it's going to drive him nuts." 

"You think?" 

"Oh yeah. He won't be able to stand it. I'm smiling just thinking about it." Connor was so glad she and Jim were friends. 

"Thanks Connor. Sleep well. Say hey to Dan." 

"He was trying to pretend he wasn't here." In the background Jim heard, "Jim, I'm glad to be here." 

"Goodnight to both of you." 

When he hung up the phone, he went down to talk to Blair. "Chief, I know you're awake. I need to tell you something." 

"Come on in." 

"I think we should have a short break. Get our bearings and then move on from there. I love you and you love me, but we're moving backwards. So, you sleep down here and I'll sleep up there until we figure out what to do. Deal?" 

"Deal. Thank you for letting me get my bearings." 

"No problem. Now get to sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow. Night, Chief." Jim walked out the door and heard a sad "Goodnight, Jim." 

Jim walked back in and said, "We're not going to be sad, Blair. We're going to be strong. Now get some sleep." 

Blair watched him leave and wondered where the pod was. Jim was always strong, but lately, he seemed a little mushy. Not that Blair minded mushy, but not at work. This might work out. 

For the next month, neither man talked of anything personal either at work or at home. Things were going well. Jim was being strong and stoic, as Connor told him to. The only problem was Blair seemed to be pulling away from him. They might have their talk sooner. 

Simon was impressed with how strong and professional his lead detective was. "Ellison, can I see you?" 

"Well, I would hope so, I'm standing right here." Jim and Brown were laughing so hard, Rafe had to pound on both of their backs. 

"Get your ass in here." Simon was laughing too. 

"Hi, Simon. What's up?" 

"I take it you two worked everything out?" 

"Sir, that's personal. I don't do that in the Bullpen anymore. Remember?" 

"Jim, what's wrong?" 

"There is nothing wrong. Can I get back to work?" 

"I don't know, can you?" Simon smiled and so did Jim. 

"Everything is fine, Simon." 

"Good. Glad to hear it." Simon shoved him out the door and slammed it shut. 

Everyone started laughing. "Can I ask you something? Wasn't it him that said he wanted to see me?" 

Connor walked up and said, "Come. Walk this way." 

Everyone watched as Jim started swinging his hips just like Connor did and they were roaring. Even the grouch, (Sandburg), enjoyed it. 

"What's up, Connor?" 

"Jim, I'm worried about you and so is Dan." 

"Why? I'm doing what you told me to. Right?" 

"Right. But it's just not you. You're a loving man and you don't love anyone, anymore. You never touch like you use to. So, now I'm taking that all back. Do the opposite. Love him to death whenever you can. I'm sorry." 

"I don't believe this. You promised me it would work. Do you know how fucking hard this has been?" 

"I'm sorry. Talk to him tonight." 

Jim went out and said, "Chief, we have to talk." Blair followed him into the interrogation room and sat down. 

Jim told him what he had been doing for the last four weeks and why. He also told him that Connor was going to get it when she least expected it. 

Blair just sat there silently and didn't even blink. 

"Chief, are you listening?" 

"Yes, I thought we were going to be truthful. And now I find out that for the last four weeks you've been living a lie. I hate you." Blair walked out and continued his paperwork in the bullpen. 

Jim came out after a few minutes and asked Simon if he could have the rest of the day off. Jim needed to think and figure out what they would do. 

Ten minutes later, Simon came rushing out of his office and said, "Everyone with me. Ellison's down." 

They all ran down the stairs and out of the building. Two blocks down, Jim was lying on the pavement with a bullet or more in him. Blair was being strong, but it was killing him. 

He stood back while the EMT's worked on him and they turned to him and said, "We'll meet you up there. Ellison's bad." 

Blair stood there and didn't say a word. Finally Simon said, "Sandburg, would you like me to drive you?" 

"Yes." He climbed into Simon's car and gave his keys to Brown to drive to the hospital. 

"It'll be all right, Sandburg. Just keep the positive vibes flowing." Simon didn't feel like giving a pep talk right that moment. 

Everyone waited in the emergency room for the doctor and when Doctor Mason came walking out, Blair didn't like the look on his face. 

"He's bad, Blair. We're going into surgery now, but you had better get his dad and brother. I'll check back with you when the surgery is done." 

Blair pulled out his cell and called William and Steven. They both said they would be up momentarily. Blair paced the room and had all of their friends pacing with him. 

Dan walked in and said, "I'm going to scrub up and find out what's going on. I'll let you know as soon as possible." 

Major Crime was a little worried about one Detective Sandburg. He had hardly said a word and he showed no emotion at all. This wasn't Blair. They all hoped that Jim would wake up soon. 

Seven hours later, Dan walked in and said, "Come upstairs with me. He's in ICU. You won't be able to see him much, but at least he's alive." 

They all followed him up and sat in the waiting room. "Fill us in, Dan." Simon finally said. 

"He was shot six times. The doctor's were able to get them all out. He's not breathing on his own right now, but they're hoping for that to change in a day or two. He's in very critical condition, but they're calling it, Critical, but hopeful." 

"What do you think, Dan?" Connor asked. 

"I think he'll pull through as long as he feels the need to fight. So we all have to tell him how important he is. Here's Doctor Mason now. He'll tell you all about the damage that was done." 

For the next 20 minutes, Mason told them of every single gun shot and what damage it did. When he was done, he informed them of visiting hours and said, it was a big time rule. 

"You mean, I can only see him every few hours, for 15 minutes?" Blair asked. 

"Yes. They'll call you if you're on the list. Blair, you have to let him heal, or he's not going to make it. I have to check some things and get back to work. Try and relax and don't bother the nurses too much." 

Simon stood up and said softly, "Sandburg, we have to go. We need to find the fucker that did this to Jim. We'll come up as soon as we can." Simon then hugged Blair and Blair knew Jim was worse than he thought. 

"Good luck finding him, sir. I'll see you when I see you." 

Connor began to cry as she hugged him. "Connor, straighten up. We have a job to do." Simon snapped. 

"Oh fuck you." And she took off down the stairwell. 

"Sandburg, we'll be back as soon as we can. Tell him we love him too." Simon said. Everyone shook his hand and before long, Blair was sitting in the waiting room all alone. 

Every couple of hours, a nurse would take Blair into Jim's room. Blair would talk to him softly for the fifteen minutes and then go wait for another couple of hours. This is how the first day went. Blair was dreading another day of having no one with him when someone touched his hand. He looked up and it was Marcus. And with him, he brought David, Chris and George. They sat around him and held him and talked to him until he fell asleep. 

When Blair woke up, he realized he wanted these men to be his friends. They didn't want sex. They wanted to be friends with him and Jim. Blair was going to have to fix that... and soon. 

They all took turns staying with Blair each day. They played cards, they told wonderful Jim stories and cried a lot. 

Two weeks later, Blair felt an odd feeling. He wasn't sure what it was, but needed to think. Jim was breathing on his own, so everyone should have been happy. But the doctor's didn't seem pleased at all. Usually when he went into the room to see Jim, he would take whoever was with him. This morning felt different. Blair felt like it was the last time he might talk to him. He turned to George and said, "Do you mind if I talk to him? I need to tell him some things." 

"Sure." George hugged him before he left. 

Blair pulled his chair up next to Jim's bed and felt sadder then he'd ever felt. 

"Jim, I need to tell you some things. I love you so much, you can't imagine. And guess what? Your ex-lovers have been here with me every single day. They don't want to have sex with you, they want to be your friend. Hell, they want to be my friend. I love them all. You have fantastic taste in men. So I want you to know that we can be friends with them and I would love to do it. I love you, man." 

Blair leaned down and kissed Jim's lips. "I had a dream last night that you were sleeping beauty and I was the prince. Isn't that a riot? I'm going to kiss you once more and see if you don't wake up. Please wake up, Jim. I'm so lonely. I need you so much." He leaned in and kissed him and felt Jim's lips moving against his. 

"Jim?" 

"Chief?" Jim croaked. 

"Let me get some water." Blair gave him little tiny sips and then kissed him again. 

"So the Sleeping Beauty story is true?" Jim smiled. 

"I think so. You're the most gorgeous creature I could ever be with. And I love you." 

"So you don't mind that I was with other men?" 

"No. They took care of me while you slept." Blair leaned in for another kiss. 

Doctor Mason walked in and said, "Well, well, well. Will wonders never cease?" 

"Hey, Doctor Mason." Jim said tiredly. 

"Jim, you rest. I'll talk to you in a little while." Mason got up and pulled Blair out of the room. 

"I want to stay with him. Please?" 

"Blair, he needs to rest. So let him. You go home and take a good shower and eat a home cooked meal. Call all of your friends and tell them the good news." 

"Okay. But you'll call if he needs me?" Blair dreaded leaving. 

"Chief?" Blair heard Jim trying to holler. 

"Jim, what's wrong?" 

"I need you to rest, brush your teeth, shower a few times and then come back. You smell bad, lover." Jim smiled and fell back to sleep. 

Blair did just that. He went to the loft, followed by four new friends and they all ate together. Then they held Blair in their arms while he slept all night long. 

When Blair woke up, he was upset. "Shit... I needed to get back up there. I promised him." 

George smiled and then said, "Don't worry. He's still sleeping. I called." 

"I have to shower and get ready." Blair got ready and George and Marcus cleaned up the loft. 

"Wow, I know I wasn't in there that long. You guys do good work. Want to clean for me all the time?" Blair teased. 

"Hell no. I don't even like to do it, but we figured Jim might be coming home soon. You know how he is." They all laughed. 

Blair called Simon and told him that Jim had woken up. Simon sounded dead on his feet. 

"I'm glad, kid." 

"Simon, want to come over tonight? I could make you some food." Blair offered. 

"I know you don't want to leave Jim." 

"I have friends that will stay. How about dinner?" Blair figured he might be able to help him with the attempted murder, also. 

"Okay, I'll see you at 7:00." Simon hung up the phone and smiled for the first time in two weeks. Blair sounded damn good to him. 

"So who would like to spend the evening with Jim at the hospital?" 

"Pick me. Pick me. Pick me." David said bouncing. 

"I think I'll pick, David." Blair hugged him and got ready to leave. 

"So, Blair, you're all right with us being around him now, right?" Marcus asked again, just to be sure. 

"I sure am. Ryan wanted Jim. That's what bugged me. I couldn't figure it out at first, but now I know. Thank you all for helping us." 

Blair spent the day up at the hospital and helped with Jim's physical therapy and just made Jim feel good. 

"Jim, I'm having Simon over for dinner tonight. So David is coming up and spending the evening with you. I hope you don't mind." Blair sounded very different to Jim. 

"Chief, that's fine. But I need to ask why you sound so different. You're like a different person." 

"And do you like this person?" 

"I love this person. This is a person who could understand me. I hope you always will." Jim pulled him down for a kiss. 

"I have to leave, big man. I'm making chicken and dumplings. Simon loves those." 

"He loves everything you make, Blair. Have fun and be a good boy." 

"I love you, Jim." Blair kissed him and almost ran from the room. 

"Chief, tell me goodbye." 

"Goodbye." All the way to the elevator, he felt like he was about to cry. 

Thankfully, Blair had a lot to do when he got home, so the time went fast. When Simon arrived, he had a huge folder with anything and everything from the shooting. 

After dinner they sat at the table and went over things. Blair began to look at the pictures of all of the witnesses. There was a woman, who looked haunted and Blair wondered if she knew who the shooter was. 

"Simon, who is this?" 

"Sarah Milton, why? She didn't do it." 

"I know that. But I recognize the look on her face. She might know the shooter." 

"How can you do that? I'm looking at the same picture and I see nothing." 

"I don't know. I bet you money she had something to do with it or she knew the shooter. Could we go and talk to her?" 

"Come on. Let me get a hold of everyone else too. They've been working so hard, they deserve to be in on it. Don't you think?" 

"Of course. We're a team, Simon." 

When they got to Sarah's home, they waited for Connor, Joel, Rafe and Brown to arrive. Simon knocked on the door and said, "Ms. Milton, we have some questions." 

"Come on in." And everyone knew right then that Blair was right. She had a total look of defeat. 

"Where is your husband?" Blair asked quietly. 

"Downstairs. Please don't go down there. He'll hurt someone again." 

"You knew it was him?" Simon asked angrily. 

"I told him that I was going to leave him. He's very abusive and he said, he was going to kill a person right in front of me and he would continue to do so if I didn't take him back. I did what I thought was right." She stood up and pulled her shirt off and all of the detectives, let out a small sound of pain. This woman had been brutalized and they all knew that he would have killed her in another day or two. 

"I'm so sorry." Sarah said to all of them. "I should have let him kill me." 

"He would have found another reason to kill people. In fact, they don't need a reason. They just do it." Simon said. 

Simon, Blair and Rafe went downstairs to get the husband, and of course the idiot started shooting at them. He winged Rafe and Blair shot him in the shoulder. As he fell, he said, "I'll be out in no time at all, you fucker." 

He reached down and got a knife out of his boot. When he went to throw it at Simon's back, Blair shot him in the chest. "I don't think you'll be going anywhere." Blair walked away and said, "You all right, Simon? How about you, Rafe?" 

"We're fine. You go upstairs and get the meat wagon and call for EMT's for Rafe." Simon loved being the boss. 

"Yes, sir. I can't wait to tell Jim you got him." Blair flew up the stairs and Simon said to Rafe, "He's going to freak out big time." 

"Yeah, he is." Rafe agreed. 

After everything was finished, Blair signed off and left to go to the hospital. 

The phone rang in Jim's room and he answered, "Ellison." 

"Wow. You sound like you moved in there now." Simon teased. 

Jim could hear the worry in Simon's voice. 

"What's wrong Simon?" 

"Just warning you that Blair is on his way up, thinks he's doing fine, but he's not. He killed a man tonight." 

"Oh god. I'll help him get through it. He'll be fine." 

"Ellison, I just said he wasn't fine. He's pretending he is." 

"I'll take care of it sir." 

"I hate when you call me sir. I might be your boss, but I was your friend, first." Simon snarled. 

"Okay, Simon. I'm sorry." 

"Gotta go, Jim. Papers to file." 

"Oh goody." Jim said with a laugh. 

"Night, Jim." 

"Night, Simon." 

Jim lay in bed waiting for Blair. Finally after ten minutes he walked through the door and sat in the chair by the door. 

"Hey Jim." 

"Hey Chief." 

"The dinner for Simon came out really well." 

"How come you're so late?" Jim inquired. 

"We had to go and check out a lead." 

"We?" 

"Simon, Brown and Rafe and I." 

"Simon must have been worried about this lead to take all that fire power. Is everyone all right?" 

"No worries, mate. We took the perp down, when he tried to kill Simon." 

"Blair, come here." Jim lay there with his arm's open. 

"Jim, I'm really tired. I want to go home and catch some sleep." 

"Chief, are you the one that took him down?" 

Blair stood with his head hanging and Jim could tell he was upset. 

Jim whispered, "Come here and let me hold you. I'll talk to you about when it happened to me and you can tell me about this guy. Please? Come over here." 

Blair climbed into the bed with Jim and told him all about it. Jim never let go of him once. "Jim, does it ever get easier?" 

"Never, buddy." 

"Way to make a person feel better." Blair said into Jim's chest. 

"That tickles." 

"What?" 

"The vibration on my chest while you talked." Jim's face just lit up. 

"I love you, Jim." 

"And I love you back. Stay and sleep with me?" 

"Okay. Thanks for being my shoulder." 

"Chief, I'll be your shoulder anytime. Not to worry." 

"Do you ever get to come home?" A sad looking Guide asked. 

"Soon. I promise." Jim was going to tell the doctor tomorrow, that he was leaving. He didn't need no stinking release. And the next then Jim knew it was morning. 

Doctor Mason came in and smiled. "Looks like someone had a sleepover." 

"Too bad we didn't get any of the fun stuff." Jim teased back. 

"Jim, I talked to all of your therapists and we've decided that you can go home this afternoon. Does that work for you?" 

Jim whispered, "It works just fine for us. Thank you for everything." 

The two men discussed everything medical and Jim went back to sleep. Blair woke about two hours later and smiled at the wide-awake Sentinel. 

"Do you have all of your senses down?" 

"Sure do, Chief." 

"You seem in a good mood, wanna share?" 

"How would you like me at home as of today?" Jim was almost as excited as Blair. 

"I have to go and get your clothes and the loft ready. What time do you get out? And do you mind if I put in for some family time?" 

"Chief, calm down. Family time is fine. I'd love to have you around more. As for what time, he said 3:00. And don't go crazy doing things. I'd rather have you going crazy doing things to me." 

"I am so excited. And I can't wait to have you do things to me." Blair began kissing his mate and before long they were both sporting wood. 

"I want to have sex at our house. Not here." Blair said. 

"What happened to the old Blair Sandburg? I guess he went and grew up." 

"I have to go Jim. Because I have things to take care of at work. I'll be here at 3:00. I love you. Do you realize that we're starting a new life?" 

"I sure do. And I'm thrilled to start it with you." 

Jim watched his love go out the door and smiled. This was going to be fucking good. 

_I just now realized that I should have understood. Blair is an Anthropologist. He studies people, places and things. He couldn't have passed that box of pictures without looking inside. That just wouldn't be Blair. He needed to learn, to talk and check things out. Why didn't I get that? Maybe because I'm the Sentinel. I don't think they're that smart. I'm truly glad this worked out because I have to tell you, I love watching his butt move through his jeans and it's to die for. I can't wait. Stop talking to yourself Ellison and get inside for the time of your life._

Jim picked up the phone and called Blair. "Hey Chief, you undressed yet?" Jim could hear his Guide's laughter and he knew they were both home for good. 

The End 

 

Acknowledgments: Thank you, Mary. You've stuck behind and beside me forever. You're an angel. A special thank you to Lisa. You've done a grand job all year long. I appreciate everything.


End file.
